Late Night Thoughts

I don’t really believe in anything.

What I mean by this statement is I’m not that fond of absolutes and must-be’s.

I never commit 100% to anything. At least I don’t believe anyone can commit 100% to anything.

In the face of everything, I can always take one step back and analyze the situation no matter how sad or happy I am.

It’s ingrained into me.

Thinking about how I could have gotten a better present for my birthday.

Criticizing and giving advice to people even though they did a good job overall.

You see, I’m always in the mindset.

“Even if I’m doing good now, I could do better.”

There’s always room for improvement, always room for personal development no matter how far you get.

The journey never ends.

Whether that being smarter, stronger, more socially competent, or even just comfortable with myself.

There’s always room for growth no matter what stage you are in life.

And even the stage where you cannot grow externally, you can still grow internally.

Your morals, ethics, principles.

Your character.

I guess the pinnacle of all self-improvement is enlightenment.

But to be honest I think it’s bullshit.

Especially the way that the internet portrays it.

It’s become something that most meditation practitioners want to achieve.

The keyword is want.

It’s sought after and seen as a way to gain happiness, peace, or solve someone’s problems.

It’s blindly following a path while ignoring your own problems.

Meditation is becoming a method of curing your anxiety, your problems.

It’s being portrayed as a tool, a healthy practice.

Meditation has nothing to do with being healthy.

It’s to do with perspective.

To dissociate yourself from your identity, thoughts, character.

To take a step back and see the world from a bird’s eye view.

Obviously, there’s no point in reading about it.

You have to experience it for yourself.

Anyways.

I don’t believe what anyone says.

No one knows anything.

We’re just all thrown into this playground and taught to believe that lights turn on by flipping the switch, cars go forward by stepping the gas pedal, and the internet has answers to most of our problems in life.

Most of the time, if it works we let it be.

No point in changing what isn’t broken.

But the fact is, there are no answers.

There is no right or wrong.

Nothing is wrong, nothing is right.

Everything just is.

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